this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Are we still banned from the library?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
