I wish my penis had an off switch
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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