names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers