Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm passing your future prison.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.