I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?