I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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