Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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