Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
