my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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