i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
