The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
