Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i believe in u and ur pee
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
