Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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