getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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