Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
