The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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