i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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