Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
