are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
