Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
