you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
