never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....