Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
  Replies (12) Good night (1106) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me http://tfl.nu/9tmv
  Replies (9) Good night (722) Bad night (2420)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now. http://tfl.nu/52n8
  Replies (19) Good night (3604) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted. http://tfl.nu/wtc2
  Replies (4) Good night (3200) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction. http://tfl.nu/hu5n
  Replies (11) Good night (4116) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2
  Replies (3) Good night (2120) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): 6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread http://tfl.nu/f1c5
  Replies (6) Good night (2033) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw! http://tfl.nu/e9vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3408) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1384) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird. http://tfl.nu/vyym
  Replies (9) Good night (1175) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl
  Replies (32) Good night (1246) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder http://tfl.nu/r034
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win. http://tfl.nu/vse3
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (232)

Randomize