Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.

(863): View more from Florida

Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

At least you don't cum in color.

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(863): UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground. (863): Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine. (321): At least you don't cum in color. http://tfl.nu/1kue

Replies (15) Good night (2712) Bad night (889)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.

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(404): I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me. http://tfl.nu/iup7

Replies (12) Good night (751) Bad night (4591)
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(805): View more from California

im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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(805): im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking http://tfl.nu/diqd

Replies (26) Good night (4345) Bad night (751)
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(530): View more from California

It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan

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(530): It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan http://tfl.nu/v151

Replies (29) Good night (5130) Bad night (974)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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(309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0

Replies (11) Good night (4023) Bad night (503)
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(561): View more from Florida

so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

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(561): so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same http://tfl.nu/2qn4

Replies (9) Good night (5087) Bad night (989)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.

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(606): I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me. (1-606): Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons. http://tfl.nu/drp9

Replies (4) Good night (4334) Bad night (1391)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.

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(256): Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO. http://tfl.nu/k62i

Replies (8) Good night (3477) Bad night (851)
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(708): View more from Illinois

What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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(708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe

Replies (5) Good night (2986) Bad night (584)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago

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(815): I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago http://tfl.nu/274p

Replies (11) Good night (517) Bad night (2654)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

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(630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode. http://tfl.nu/h8l8

Replies (11) Good night (3030) Bad night (684)
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(310): View more from California

We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.

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(310): We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us. http://tfl.nu/nid9

Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (823)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

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(508): Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada. http://tfl.nu/kq1p

Replies (5) Good night (281) Bad night (767)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?

(443): View more from Maryland

YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.

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(856): He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that? (443): YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE. http://tfl.nu/t1lf

Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (870)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies

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(775): I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies http://tfl.nu/5tdh

Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (507)

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