Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.

  (1-218): View more from Minnesota

  i gets down

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  (218): out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down. (1-218): i gets down http://tfl.nu/usv6
  Replies (14) Good night (3805) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode

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  (321): I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode http://tfl.nu/96an
  Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (3295)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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  (647): he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it http://tfl.nu/1z9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4522) Bad night (1763)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.

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  (201): I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot. http://tfl.nu/7j37
  Replies (13) Good night (6458) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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  (601): A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first. http://tfl.nu/xh2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4664) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

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  (203): I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus. http://tfl.nu/scm8
  Replies (17) Good night (7795) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.

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  (515): Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack. http://tfl.nu/7j66
  Replies (2) Good night (1846) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.

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  (347): So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me. http://tfl.nu/ap85
  Replies (6) Good night (1850) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person

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  (541): I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person http://tfl.nu/p4il
  Replies (11) Good night (2424) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.

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  (479): Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing. http://tfl.nu/uted
  Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.

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  (612): I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite. http://tfl.nu/m5xg
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off

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  (480): unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off http://tfl.nu/u622
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious

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  (250): Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious http://tfl.nu/wchz
  Replies (6) Good night (297) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees

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  (727): Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees http://tfl.nu/nvbv
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (333)

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