You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?