I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize