I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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