R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think a kid would responsible me up
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
