Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
