My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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