Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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