Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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