I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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