people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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