Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
