walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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