We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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