One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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