cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
