Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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