You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
