I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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