does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
