so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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