I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
