R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
