I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
