Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
