it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
