Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
