How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
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Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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