she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
