I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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