I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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