my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
