**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The Olympian is in my bed
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
