Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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