I'm so fucking centered right now
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment