this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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