You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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