HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
