i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize