I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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